19 WEEKS PREGNANT!
Closing out 19 weeks and BOOM! Hello new person inside of me. I’m starting to feel the baby, like for real. I mean, it’s all getting so real, so fast. Approaching the halfway mark now, and last week at 18 weeks pregnant, I certainly felt the biggest physical changes so far, but this week, it was all emotional. The most emotional week of my life, yet. I realize that more is coming my way as I continue to grow and baby continues to brew, but man is it difficult not being in control of your emotions.
With the risk of sounding less than excited about this pregnancy, which couldn’t be further from the truth: this pregnancy has proven to be truly draining, both physically and emotionally. I can deal well with being tired, because you just go to sleep, but what about the uncontrollable tears? That’s what is truly hard to deal with. I was fine until earlier this week, but suddenly I feel like I lost all control of my emotions. I managed to keep it together pretty well until now, but suddenly breaking out into an emotional outburst of crying for no apparent reason is the new normal.
My poor husband winecoach is so sweet, he just sits next to me and rubs my belly telling me everything will be alright. Then he feeds me and I begin to feel a little normal again. It’s insane!!! I don’t know what triggers it, I don’t know how it miraculously goes away. Moms, does this get any easier? It just started, and I’m afraid it’s not going anywhere anytime soon….
I have always had this fear of post-partum depression, something I know I have no control over, but pregnancy blues are real and something I didn’t factor in. Maybe that was naive, but you hear most people saying hormones this, hormones that, but the truth is, it really is a deep sadness that takes over your being, and you (me, us) just can’t understand why we are feeling this way! Suddenly it goes away, like it never happened. It’s just crazy to me. If anyone has any tips on how to deal with this, please share, because I’m at a loss of ideas. Perhaps everyone just deals with this as part of the process, and if so, I’ll just have to learn how to.
Still, I do think it’s a magical moment, and I get baffled when I look down and see a growing bump. It’s amazing that we can create life from nothing, but boy does it take a toll on our bodies and minds. I have a new and different appreciation for all mothers, the more babies the more respect! I mean it! It is no easy task, and I’m waiting patiently for the reward. Again, this whole post may sound like I’m not excited about becoming a mom, but in reality, I’m just puzzled but the process, and yes, super excited by the end product although still slightly terrified. I think it’s normal-ish, and if not, then that’s okay too.
- Main Challenge of the week:Dealing with all these emotions. I mean, I do have a heart, but crying for no reason was never my thang….On my birthday, when I was closing out 19 weeks, I cried all morning. That evening we were supposed to have a getogether, super downsized compared to previous years where I threw the biggest of parties, but suddenly I didn’t feel like I wanted anyone over. I cried, and cried, for no reason. My husband along side of me was very comforting, and he knew there was nothing he could do. Eventually we went out to eat breakfast because I didn’t feel like cooking, got a pedicure and felt much better. It was great to have people over that evening, my friends, who make me happy! It was like that morning never happened. Crazy right? Apparently not…but I’m glad I got through it.
- Cravings: Nutella – Cravings for chocolate have been bad this week – I just get home and have a BIG tablespoon. Need to mind the chocolate cravings though because too much chocolate isn’t good for ya, especially when you’re pregnant because it doesn’t have the best nutritional value and some chocolates can even have an increased amount of caffeine which in itself is not indicated for us preggos, but a craving is a craving, so it needs to be taken care of , even if in low doses, am I right? One of my darling friends made me a delicious chocolate birthday cake, and I just couldn’t be happier. You bet I saved me some leftovers to enjoy over the entire week.
- Aversions: No aversions this week! What a blessing. It was bad enough having to deal with the hormones.
- Mood: See main challenge of the week. Otherwise, I’m my typical self. I only had 2 episodes of inexplicable crying…so that’s not bad for a whole week right? Maybe getting over the Singapore jetlag had something to do with the mood alteration this week, or it’s just….wait for it: hormones.
- Ultrasound and Baby’s sex: This week we had our anatomy can. The baby moves so much, what usually takes 30 minutes, took nearly 2 hours. Our poor ultrasound technician broke a sweat, and baby gave him a workout! Baby is sitting in a fetal position and Indian style. seriously?
- Movement and Positioning:Baby was breech during the scan, but apparently that changes every 30 minutes since it’s literally doing somersaults in there! Honestly feels like a fish in my stomach, like a fish bowl, which is super weird!
- Weight gain: Gained some weight! Apparently during the second trimester, we’re supposed to gain 1lb a week! I’m at a total of 10-12 lbs over my normal, so sounds like we are on track.
- Nursery and registry: Started the registry this weekend! Please have a look and criticize me (constructively please!), letting me know what it is that I need. I’m sure I missed so much! Click here to see our registry from Babies R us, but I’m taking suggestions on any other locations we should try! Think clueless…That’s Winecoach and me.
- Names: As soon as we find out the baby’s gender and are ready to share, we will feel more comfortable talking about this.
- Midwife or OB: Visiting the midwife next week, to learn the results of the anatomy scan, and possibly finding out the gender! Exciting!
- Aches and pains: Pressure! Lower back started hurting as well as pressure quite low in my abdomen. I think the baby is sitting low. It apparently likes to sit on a little “crevice” or “hole” which is really low in my uterus, and it just chills there according to the ultrasound tech. Unfortunately, it feels pretty uncomfortable to me!
- Sleep: On my side. I ditched the body pillow because I get too hot. I just need a pillow between my legs, and I definitely started feeling the baby move more, especially when I’m trying to sleep!
- Currently wearing: I’m just going to live in stretchy and loose dresses as long as summer stays. Then I’ll worry about pants again. The best feeling is getting home and taking off my bottoms. Team no pants, right here!
- Traveling – No traveling this week. Just recovering from coming back from the other side of the world. Jet lag definitely got the best of me so need to lay low for a little while.
Thank you for following my journey! Please leave me comments with any tips for the upcoming months as baby continues to grow! I’m good at describing how I feel, but I really have no idea what I’m doing, so please enlighten me any way you feel you are able to! I sure appreciate it. Don’t forget to follow @ColorfulPregnancy on Instagram for my nutrition tips during pregnancy!
Xo, Ana
Count Colors, NOT Calories!
Color your Plate, Color your Life.
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SNAPCHAT: AnaSandee – I will continue to snap and cook so get the recipes in real time before they make it to the blog! Of course I’ll also be sharing some more awesome things about the pregnancy as I learn them! Videos stay up for 24 hours. I may condense them into YouTube videos after!
I got into pickles for my pressure and dicing bananas into chip sizes and freezing them and sucking on them. It feels better to have something cold and sweet and bananas are an emotional booster (according to things i found online)
But being emotional happens. You’re lucky winecoach is so sweet and patient with you!
Jennifer! Thanks so much! I totally included that as a tip on my colorfulpregnancy instagram page! I am lucky to have him, he is amazing. I have no reason to be sad at all, this week was actually alot better! Xoxo
Absolutely normal to feel emotional! I remember it got me down and I was scared that if I’m feeling down now then I might get post natal depression but I didn’t. Don’t worry it will pass! Your growing a baby and your life is going to change (for the better it is amazing being a mum!) of course you’ll feel emotional. Xxx
Man…that’s what I fear. Post partum depression. I’ts very real, so I was truly surprised when I got the baby blues during pregnancy ( I don’t know why, I know hormones are real). Thanks so much for the reassurance!
I’m going through my first pregnancy as well, 17 weeks and have been pretty even keeled emotionally. I’m terrified of hormones taking over, I’m not a big cryer and I tend to hold back (although I know this isn’t great). I know being pregnant is a blessing but sometimes I feel like people only want to hear how excited or happy we are, and glaze over the real aspects of it and how tough it is on women’s mind and bodies. It’s okay to be excited for the outcome and maybe not so crazy about the part where we basically sacrifice our bodies/lives for nine months. I wish more people would speak to this and then we wouldn’t have to emphasize that although of course we are excited for the baby, the journey is far from easy. Wishing you the absolute best!
Natalia, that’s exactly how I am. That’s why I nearly panicked when I started doing that. It’s completely normal to feel down, and allow yourself to feel it. We are not going to be a glowing ball of positive energy 100% of the time. It is touch, mentally and physically, but emotionally it is the worse. Let’s exercise good thoughts and outcomes, but of course some days will be worse than others. I learned to allow myself to cry, something I’m not sued to doing. Thank you so much for sharing!
I also made 19 weeks this week. It’s very comforting to know that I am not alone in my experiences. I was really bummed out because I couldn’t figure out why I kept feeling so sad and no matter how positive I tried to think or seem I couldn’t shake the feeling. I am definitely excited and anxious all at the same time lol. I guess I had this vision in my mind that pregnancy is supposed to be such a blissful time and felt horrible that my experiences haven’t been all “rainbows and sunshine!” Thank you for helping me to understand there is going to be many different phases and the fact that my experiences differ from my expectations is ok.
mmmm yea. Ditto! that’s why I just took it really hard when I was sad for no reason at all. I came to the realization that it is part of the journey, and we have to live it, get through it. It won’t be easy, and there will be amazing parts, and not so great portions. This is a not so great portion, but we can go through it together. Thanks for sharing this with me as well Tonia!
Yup! I was very puzzled mid trimester and scared for the whole post partum depression with my first pregnancy. I’m trying to do more research about way to “prevent ppd”, last birth I didn’t use an epidural and some studies I’ve found is pain has a lot to do with emotions and depression. I do want to do natural with my second pregnancy right now (21weeks)
And emotions!!!???? Unfortunately they don’t really settle. Like your feeling you will feel this way up until baby’s 6months old haha (in my case) and being pregnant a second time around its like the crazy emotional rollercoaster a just double in size! ??
I tell my husband to leave me now before it gets worst because I’m too emotionally crazy ?? he does the same as wine coach, it’s okay and rubs the belly! Can’t wait to find out what your having! I’m putting my vote in for a boy!!! I have a boy and pregnant with another boy!! ???
Hi Stephanie! I’m with you, I’d like to go natural all the way if possible, that is what I”m striving for. This week (20 weeks) has been better with the craziness of emotions, but I know that changes each minute. So you had a natural birth the first time…how was that?? I really think I can do it!!!
Ana!! Love your posts and snaps. You should check out the baby swings from Fischer price for your registry
Thanks lady! That’s a great tip! I didn’t know about the swing! I gotta get it in there 🙂 Xoxo
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